My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter. A lot of the time he will take things for granite. A lot of counter-offers were made.
9 months before I was born ,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work but he was still really tired, so he decided the qiuckest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face. So he asked me to do it but I guess I don't know my own strangth and so-he went back to sleep again...
imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are "Your not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "Your right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
Dad:where is my son Son:come join me me with musical chairs except we stand on them Dad:ok so do we put this round our neck Son:YES MUM:AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Dad: Alive Brother:orphan(fault=Mother) Me:dead on the inside but sadly alive Mother:Alive... Wait a minute.. I thought you were dead mom.. right your dead to me atleast.
Why did ama cross the road
To find his dad
No one has my back like my dad
I Wana date u said mom dad said no u are horrid f*cking d*ck
Jerry:my dad got into a fight on a plane Jeremy:that's just *plane* crazy!
Whats the difference between father's and hurricanes?
Nothing.They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Connor: Hi mom Mom: Connor: i forgot im adopted to 2 dads
l call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
Knock knock natyourcheese
A sibling went up to there other sibling and said "dad said your adopted" and the other sibling said "you are too" then the other sibling goes "no I'm not." And the sibling says "we're twins" and the other kid goes "and your adopded... oh."
I broke the sink yesterday the handle just blew right off! my dad was so mad he blew his stack!
Hey Evan this is dad ya I’m still not home
my dad raped my mom , now I have a brother
Son:Daddy? Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy, Your 11 years old feminine gay hoe Son: Whoa!? Daddy whats that Dad: Wtf are you talking about? Son: Your dick has it goten more tastier? Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc Dad: ooh nope im not havin a gay hoe's feind in my house no quit lookin at my dick you need some pussy Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em Mom: What the fugde is going on? Dad: Our sons a gay bitch Mom Launguage' so? i need to teach him how to like a girl huh? Dad: Yes Ma'am Plz Mom: Okay Mom: Herman Getch'er gay ass in my bed but naked i'll be there in 10 Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!?? Mom: Quit cursing im gonna fuck u extra hard!! Son: Ewww imm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww Mom: Shut it!!!, or imma recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies(pussy naked)* And show this to ur gay fuck friends! Son: Huh Son: Mom FUCK U* Mom: Okay baby imma fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off Son:UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH Son: moms are the worst are they? Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh
