Sink Jokes

Jstrong:)
in Titanic

My grandfather was there when the titanic sank…he shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they Finally kicked him out of the movie theater…haha

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An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.

The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies,”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says,”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says,”alright last chance. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “haha! I got you now!” But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,”He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”

Alex
in Titanic

A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. ( Titanic sinks. )

Julia
in Titanic

*Titanic was sinking. Passenger: How far are we from land? Captain: Two miles. Passenger: Which direction? Captain: Down.

5
Anonymous
in Puns

If you were on the titanic and you didn’t leave the ship what would you do? Just let that sink in

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gralorix37
in Titanic

pepole in 1912: titanic is unstopable even god coudlnt sink this ship. god: bet where is my icebergs

Anonymous
in Parent

Kid: what is the biggest mistake you made in your life. Parents: go look above the bathroom sink *kid goes and looks but then he reilises

Sad and lonely

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me…

in Titanic

My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater

Jason and mateo
in Titanic

Why did the Titanic sink it’s because they didn’t want the icebergs candy

Anonymous
in Titanic

Why did the titanic sink because he saw a iceberg selling candy

Anonymous
in Puns

How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).

Anonymous
in Puns

Don’t tell a Titanic joke, or you’ll sink to a whole new low.

Anonymous

Better to cum in the sink…than to sink in the cum

Kaylauzshiteu

What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?

Cinco De Mayo

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Anonymous
in French

How do you sink an American battleship?

Have the French build it

Anonymous
in Titanic

Why is the titanic good at baseball : because it sinks it

Yer boi
in Titanic

What did the chef on the titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes- “oh no the sink sank!”

emo.kid_22dead
in Depression

i asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school and she said oh go look in the bathroom above the sink…there was a mirror

Ketchup

Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

A: He gave her a ring.

Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

A: Knead for Speed.

Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

A: He has a black belt.

Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

A: Beast Buy.

Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

A: Let’s stick together.

Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

A: So he could use his drumsticks.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

A: Beast Buy.

Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

A: Let’s stick together.

Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

A: So he could use his drumsticks.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?

A: The glitterbug.

Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

A: Because they always make-up

via GIPHY

Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

A: In their flowerbed

Q: Why was the show bad at gymnastics?

A: She was a flip-flop

Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

A: A t-shirt

Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?

A: A rainbow

Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

A: The Dish-co

Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?

A: Knight time.

Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?

A: A bun.

Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?

A: Hip hop.

Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?

A: Shop ‘til they hop.

via GIPHY

Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?

A: She nailed it.

Q: What is corn’s favorite music?

A: Pop.

Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

A: It’s a weak day.

Q: Why was the politician out of breath?

A: He was running for office.

Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?

A: Goooooooooooold!

Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?

A: He was a cheetah.

Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?

A: Pennsylvania.

Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?

A: Inside.

Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?

A: He forgot his lawsuit.

Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?

A: He crashed the computer

via GIPHY

Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?

A: An eyeball.

Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?

A: Shells.

Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?

A: In the fall.

Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?

A: Because he knew he would pass.

Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?

A: Because it was flat.

Q: Why didn’t the farmer’s son study medicine?

A: Because he wanted to go into a different field?

Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?

A: Pi

Q: Why was the princess in the emergency r