Dad jokes
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
Dad: Son, I came back.
Son: Where is the milk?
Dad: Time for another 10 years.
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
Hey dad, I'm hungry!
Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!