Dad

Dad jokes

Milk

You wonder where my dad is.

Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!

Pilot

Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot ;(

Sex

What's a native chick say after sex?

"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

Milkman

One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.

The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"

The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!

Memes

Balloon

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

Sister

My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.

Nemo

My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.

Blood Type

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Milk

My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.

Printer

I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.

Child

Child: I am hungry.

Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!

Child: *groans* *walks away*

Name

Hey dad, I'm hungry!

Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?

Word

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!