Dad jokes
Ur dad is mad.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
My dad has a pretty shitty job.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
Your dad left for the milk because of your McDonald's hairline!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!