Dad jokes
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
Memes
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
My dad has a pretty shitty job.
I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
Hey dad, I'm hungry!
Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!