Dad jokes
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"