Dad jokes

Where can you find the most dads?

Milk Island.

Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.

Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?

Dad: . . .

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

Just ask your dad.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.

Batman: I’m vengeance.

Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.

Batman: ...

Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."