Dad jokes
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they can't call anyone their dad.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
What’s fat, brown, and has no dad?
Ama
Your life, that's all.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.