Dad jokes

Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.

Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?

Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣

What does your mum have in common with your dad?

They are both men.

What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa

Me: "You wanna see my dad?"

Some kid: "Yeah?"

Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."

Some kid: "He ain't appearing."

Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."

*The kid laughs*

Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:

"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."

(Pause)

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."

"Jeff who?"

"Bezos."

Your Dad.

What does PEMDAS stand for?

Penis enters my dad and sister.

Dad, why are we here?

Because you're not loved.

I will always remember my dad's last words...

Oh wait, I never knew them.

What do you call a boy in your mom?

Your dad.

Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.

What do you say to the orphan?

"Shut up, get a mom and dad!"

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.

Ur dad is gay!

Omg! I didn't mean that. Please don't tell ur mom.

I'm so so so sry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."

What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?

My dad hates them both!