I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
Your Dad
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
Dad, why are we here?
Because you're not loved.
ur dad is gone
why can't two chinese make a white baby. because two wong's do not equal a white
You were born out of your dad
What is the difference between the human rights act of tyty
my dad left me
My dad told me "No electronics at the table", so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
stop making jokes about 9/11 my dad died in 9/11. BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA
ALAKBAR
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
