You go up to a bar and say hi he doesn’t look at you you keep saying hi he says what then you realize that he is the one that u stole his lady from but then he doesn’t give you any drink you say why he screams at you and then says YOUR FIVE
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store...
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?” Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!” Chef: “Why thank you.” Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!” Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
So my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store so when I get there,there’s a sign but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead
Waiter: can I have your order? Me: no it’s mine!
Bill swift here you make them we take them
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said...... It’s a wood hulem
The next time you get a sack call pick up the phone and say “welcome to Pete’s pizzeria and abortion clinic your loss is next weeks sauce how may we help you
A man bought a brand new iphone but returned it, why The apple was already bitten.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”
A roman walks into a Bar and holds up 2 fingers and says "Five beers,please"
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes. So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady. Like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar... "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
a customer came too me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
A customer asked me to look at their hairline,I time travelled back to the dinosaurs
