I took my girlfriend to a Chinese Restaraunt. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what is going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
why do orphans have to have customized phones:because there aren't home buttons
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.
Sign outside a hair salon: We'll color your hair or dye trying.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes. So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady. Like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance
A nucleus walked into a bar, he asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed Thanks for coming
We stop by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us “I am wan kin the manager.” So we just left in disgust!
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored I draw on my hands with pen, well this guy walks up to me and says “ you know I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself” and so without thinking I said “ well I’ve already got those so I think I’m fine.... 😳he looked concerned. Oops lol
So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “alreight so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “ so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says”I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says” so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says” ok here you go” so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink
A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink
Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?
Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.
blonde walks in i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. comes back the next day with brown hair. i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. comes back the next day with brown hair. i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. thats it howd you know i was a blonde seller: because thats a microwave
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is' The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
Hey dude can you speel ihop. Sure man. I H O P. Wait you ate my pee!!!
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir
Hi welcome to David’s sperm bank you Jack it we pack it how may I help you?
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!!
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I;m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
