The 90+ Best Customer Jokes

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

I was working in a IPhone store in Norwich, when an man came! He said "Give me hat-trick or i will destroy your store!" I said "No" and he started to smash phones! I imidiatelly screamed "Important game" and he disappeared! Shame on you penaldo for ruining my store! 😡😡

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey Jim!"

Customer: Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?

Employee: Ma’am, this is an adoption agency, you can’t do that here!

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

me: do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?

bank teller: [eyes wide] uhhhhh

me: *scratches head with gun* man, i hate it when this happens

I once saw a one handed man in a second hand store. I said to him: "i don't think they have what you're looking for sir"

A hamburger walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am wan kin the chef." I said that I'll come back later

"Oh waiter! Waiter!"

"Yes sir?"

"Do you have frog's legs?"

"Why yes"

"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"

The Barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she's blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i'm blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain't explaining the joke 4 times.