Customer

Customer jokes

Bank robbery

    • A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.

    Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

    The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

    The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

    He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

    The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

  • 8

    • Bar

    • So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

    The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

    Priest

    • What's the difference between a priest and customer service?

    At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.

  • 0

    • Popsicle

    • What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

    Dollar a pop!

    Get it?

    Cremation

    • Setting: Funeral Home

    Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

    Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

    Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

    Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

    Customer: Okay?

    Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

    By: MiniMemorials.com

  • 1
    • Customer memes

    Chip

    • A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

    "I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

    Nail

    • *Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.

    *Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.

    *Me sits down in the chair*

    *Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.

    *gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.

    *walks out without paying*

    *Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.

    *customer:* I told u she would.

  • 4

    • Man

    • A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

    The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

    The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

  • 0

    • Bank

    • I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

  • 1

    • Job

    • My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

    Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

    Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

    My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

  • 4

    • Bar

    • Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

    The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

    Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

  • 0