Crime jokes
Why did the orphan commit a bank robbery?
So he could be wanted.
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
Rape is not funny!! What if you were the girl/boy getting raped?
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.