Crime jokes
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?
Batman returns.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."