Crime jokes

Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?

They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.

What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?

At least outlaws are wanted.

What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.

I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.

Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?

If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.

Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?

A. She had to go to GasTown.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.

+1 Comet.

Why do orphans like robbing banks?

So they can be wanted.

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

Why do orphans like stealing things?

They wanted to have company.

What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?

I haven't been caught.

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.

What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?

His little brother with the console.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

A pedophile and a priest run a race.

You can’t beat yourself in a race!

What's a cannibal's favorite snack?

Men toes! 😂🤣

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.