Crime jokes
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
Memes
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.