Crime jokes
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife.
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.