Crime jokes
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.