Crime jokes
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
Memes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.