Crime

Crime jokes

Roast

1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

Are these good?

Santa

I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Rape

Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.

Memes

Rape

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.

Lie

What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?

They both lie over little boys 😂

Michael Jackson

Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.

Chocolate

Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.

Year

They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.

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  • Baby

    Most people smother babies with love.

    I smother them with pillows.

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  • Rape

    What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.

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  • Man

    There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?

    The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!

    Marijuana

    A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

    Pedophile

    EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!

    Wine

    I like my girls like I like my wine.

    12 years old and locked in my basement.

    Pedophile

    What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

    "Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

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