Crime jokes

What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.

Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.

What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?

They both lie over little boys 😂

Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?

What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.

Most people smother babies with love.

I smother them with pillows.

What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.

There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?

The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?

Freeze.

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

What's black, gold, and red all over?

Tupac in Vegas.

A brunette fought and didn't get raped.

A blonde thought and did get raped.

when is rape wrong on so many levels?

inside a lift.

You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?

It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.

What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?

Free delivery XD

One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."