Crime jokes
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"