Crime jokes

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?

Freeze.

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

What's black, gold, and red all over?

Tupac in Vegas.

What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?

Free delivery XD

A brunette fought and didn't get raped.

A blonde thought and did get raped.

90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?

It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

when is rape wrong on so many levels?

inside a lift.

What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.

One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

When is rape normal?

When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.

What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.

Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?

A heartless killer.