Crime jokes
Your dad never needed a van for you.
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
I'm a rapist.
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.