Crime jokes
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.