Crime jokes

Dude,

if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?

Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.

Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite snack? 5 year old whiners.

Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

Spiderman: "Yes."

Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

Spiderman: "Why?"

Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."

Q: Why did the cat get arrested?

A: He was caught littering.

What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"

Why are orphans good at being a criminal?

Because they're not wanted.

What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.

Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?

What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?

A Jacko Lantern!

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

Everybody loves guns!

Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."