A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"
Crime Jokes
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
Your dad never needed a van for you.
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
Me: "I like kids."
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!
