Crime jokes
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?
Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).
I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
Osama Bin Laden thrown in ocean!
People who helped with the Twin Towers destruction: ...
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!