Crime jokes
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.