Crime jokes
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.
Why does rapboat like underage girls? Cos grown ass girls are too clever for him.
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Memes
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
How many dead strippers does it take to change a light?
At least 13 because my basement is still dark.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
What's the difference between a priest and a rapist?
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.