Crime jokes
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.
Why does rapboat like underage girls? Cos grown ass girls are too clever for him.
The only thing shittier than rapeboats rhymes are his jokes.
I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.
The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.