Crime jokes
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
He wanted to be wanted! 😢😂
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.
A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.