Crime jokes

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"

"Proud Boys? More like proud snitches!"

What is an orphan's role model?

Batman.

Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?

A: Because they're never wanted.

Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?

A. Neither does R. Kelly.

When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.

I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.

I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.

I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?

You end up doing all the work.

Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?

Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.

Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.

Jeffrey Epstein was a horrible person, but at least he killed Jeffrey Epstein.

Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

But what is similar is tha-

Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

Sorry 'bout that......

Now, as I was saying,

What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!

Me: "What are you doing??"

Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

Me: "I don't know."

Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

What do you call a bunch of people near each other?

The start of the Hollacoast.