Crime jokes

"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

"Proud Boys? More like proud snitches!"

What is an orphan's role model?

Batman.

Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?

A: Because they're never wanted.

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?

A. Neither does R. Kelly.

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

35! Do you have a problem with that?

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.

What do you call a Chinese car thief?

Tommy Tookamota.

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.

I put a pipe bomb in an orphanage. 🤡🤡

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

What do Batman and a Black man have in common?

Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.

I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.

I have a body count of 7.