Crime jokes
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.
What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
What do Batman and a Black man have in common?
Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
I have a body count of 7.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
"Proud Boys? More like proud snitches!"
"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.