Crime jokes
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.
What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
I have a body count of 7.
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?
Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.