Crime jokes
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.
Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Jared from Subway touches the youth.
What is one good thing about child molesters?
They drive slow past schools.
Why was the belt arrested?
It held up a pair of pants.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.