Crime jokes
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
Rape humor is not funny. Like if you agree.
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
How do you get away with rape?
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!