Crime jokes

Why did the terrorist not go undercover?

Because he blew it!

I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

Why did the orphan go to rob the bank? Because he wanted to be wanted! >:D

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To be wanted.

What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?

The finale.

Damn, the terrorists from CS:GO really do be learning to fly.

What's the difference between bounties and orphans?

The bounty is wanted.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?

A. There was a daycare on the other side.

What did one detective say to the other detective?

"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Jared from Subway touches the youth.

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.

What is one good thing about child molesters?

They drive slow past schools.

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"