"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
Crime Jokes
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"
What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?
They fly a plane at them.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
My dad raped my mom, now I have a brother.
I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
