Crime jokes

Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?

A: Because they're never wanted.

What is an orphan's role model?

Batman.

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

"Proud Boys? More like proud snitches!"

There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.

Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!

Jorden Calerendiá.

I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"

Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.

What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?

A donation team.

Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

Why did the terrorists crash?

They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.

Lol.

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

I have a body count of 7.

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.

What do you call a Chinese car thief?

Tommy Tookamota.