When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Grandma: young people your age are married by now,why aren’t you?
Me: old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
I was gonna do a school shooter joke but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?" His mother replies "to make myself beautiful Johnny." A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
What does Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
A few kids were talking about how big there housed were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. 1 little boy said, bet I have the biggest home. To everyone's supprise he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
is it just me or you kids have imaginations
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law
The Good Old Days > You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
A blonde, a brunette, and redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
Q: How do emo kids complement each other? A: I like your cuts g
I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls
Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
I really used to be in the emo chicks now they’re just don’t make the cut
I was at school when i remembered i forgot my necklace then i screamed out, "SHIT I FORGOT GRANDPA."
Whats the difference between a priest and MCDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns
What does an eighty year old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty year old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
