When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
what makes emos jump?
a. bridges
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
The Good Old Days > You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
A blonde, a brunette, and redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
