Crime

Crime jokes

Lesson

    • The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...

  • 0

    • Pussy

    • What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

    One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

    Crime memes

    Rape

    • I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

  • 3

    • Skeleton

    • What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?

    There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.

  • 1

    • Child

    • What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

  • 0

    • Barber

    • Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.

  • 2

    • Garden

    • I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

    Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

    Basement

    • Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

    Officer: You OK, kid?

    Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

    Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

    When officer leaves:

    Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

  • 2