Crime jokes
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Memes
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.
I killed a homeless dude, now he's at funeral home ðŸ˜ðŸ’”
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to feel wanted.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.
"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."
It is not funny about kidnapping.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.