A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the Doctor's office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, "So I can examine you!"
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian’s hahahahaha
BlessedBrian, your secrets are safe with ME... because I wasn’t LISTENING when you told them
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a JOKE every day of the year
The brain named itself, and when the brain realised that it named itseld, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "well that escalated quickly..."
I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it
BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it's okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes
BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST
My middle name Is Brian I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out Johnny Brain Walker was Incorrect
Brian can i see that paper for a sec
What was Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
I asked my zombie boyfriend does he have a Brian Because he’s stupid asf
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs Jones walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked "so, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered "no way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied "never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said "school has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized...*fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
