Crime jokes
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to feel wanted.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]