What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
Crime Jokes
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
