Crime jokes
Why did an orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
Memes
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.
An orange jumpsuit that is :)
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
It's not easy to make good pedophilia jokes, because it's a very touchy subject.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.