Crime jokes

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?

A. They drive slow through school zones.

What’s red and white and black all over?

A dead white man at night time!

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?

What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?

One's wanted.

Why do cops never put orphans in jail?

Because they aren't wanted.

Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.

What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?

A double Manhattan.

Why did an orphan rob a bank?

To be wanted.

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.

A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

Why can't orphans be kidnapped?

Because most kidnappers use a family van.

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.