Crime jokes
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
My girlfriend's pregnant. I'm 13. She was raped.
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife.
Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.
The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!