What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
I ate a man because he was dead!
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?
"We are on time!"
What did Jarrah say to Hanjour?
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
