Crime jokes
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.
I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He pirated GTA VI Hindi No Virus 2022.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
I am the danger.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.