Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
Crime Jokes
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
What's worse than 5 babies in a dumpster?
5 dumpsters in a baby.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
