Crime jokes
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
WTF is going on in texas
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Rape: The only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldn't do anything even if they could run or say something, then after, are told rapists stop them doing something about it.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
Look on the bright side, women: nothing says you're beautiful like being raped by a complete stranger.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.