When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
This isn't a joke but...
GET IN THE VAN, JANICE!
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
Bill Cosplay
Pedophiles are really stupid and need to leave this earth.
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police
And he wound up in prison
At night I became a mattress murderer
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Cruel and unusual punishment.
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
Mohamed Atta would probably be pretty mad at these posts.
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
