Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
Crime Jokes
A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? Sherlock Bones!
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.
