Crime

Crime jokes

Pirate

Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!

Team

Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?

Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha

Police Officer

Please don't get mad, it's a joke.

What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.

Hooker

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Memes

Crime memes

Kid

"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021

Grandfather

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

Murder

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

Kid

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

Prison

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

Bullet

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

Basement

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

Dough

The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.

Double Standard

I hate double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

Batman

Orphan: I want to be like Batman.

Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.