Crime jokes
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
7 was a registered sex offender.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
I AGREE WITH EDP.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
Hello, anybody, I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose.