Crime jokes
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Greg is a pedo.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
@shelby denver is a massive nonce.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.