Crime jokes
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
repost og meme
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"