Crime jokes

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?

The Joker.

What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.

I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.

Ok, not really racist but still funny.

How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?

By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.

People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...

It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.

Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!

How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)

ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!

If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?

Black people don't shoot up schools.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

O-Block

Did you hear about the bank robber?

Turns out he got shot by the police.

And he wound up in prison.

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

What is an orphan's dream?

To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣