Crime jokes
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one ๐!
Tj: ๐.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: ๐ No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! ๐.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: ๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐คฐ๐คฐ๐คฐ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
How did the gay girl die? Homicide.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.