Crime jokes

Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.

The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.

My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

This car in RC-XD.

Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?

Mr. Mime!

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

A: Knock knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.

B: Package from Te-?

A: BOOM!

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?

So he could make a clean getaway!

Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.

Why do orphans like to play GTA?

To be wanted.

My grandpa has the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.