Crime jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!
Why do school shooters have the best shots?
They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."