Crime jokes
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his TikTok blew up...
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
7/11
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.