Crime jokes
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.
What do you call a terrorist that can fly?
A dart.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!
What's the difference between a priest and a rapist?
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.