Crime

Crime Jokes

What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.

How do you know the hooker killed herself?

She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

Rape isn't a joke.

It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.

It's a way of art, and works on anybody!

Like this if you agree.

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.