What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."
1 like = 1 more child in my basement.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
