Cow jokes
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
when my dad facetimes me
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"