Farm jokes

Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?

Students: Eggs.

Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?

Kids: Bacon.

Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?

Kids: Homework.

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...

Child: *drinking milk*

Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?

Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.

Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.

Child: *realizes*

Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.

A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.

"This place looks scary," the kid said.

And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."

What do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk.

Where do cows get their medicine?

At the farmacy.

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

De-calf-inated.

Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?

Me: Oh, I wan-

Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.

Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.

You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?

How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.

What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?

You get a milkshake!

What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?

Udder destruction.

Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.

What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.

How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To get to the idiot's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.