Pasture jokes
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
Why are theaters popular among cows?
They enjoy watching moovies.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
Community talk
Grass is a type of plant with narrow leaves growing from the base. A common kind of grass is used to cover the ground in places such as lawns and parks. Grass is usually the color green. Grasses are monocotyledon herbaceous plants.
The grasses include the "grass" of the family Poaceae. This family is also called Gramineae. The family also include some of the sedges (Cyperaceae) and the rushes (Juncaceae).[1] These t… Read more
GENESIS 37 Joseph’s Dreams 1Jacob lived in the land of his father’s sojournings, in the land of Canaan. 2These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was pasturing the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. 3Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was th… Read more
GENESIS 29 Jacob Arrives in Paddan Aram 1Then Jacob continued on his journey and came to the land of the eastern peoples. 2There he saw a well in the open country, with three flocks of sheep lying near it because the flocks were watered from that well. The stone over the mouth of the well was large. 3When all the flocks were gathered there, the shepherds would roll the stone away from the well’s mouth and water the s… Read more