Cow jokes
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
Why did the cow say moo?
Because he had to go poo.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
What do cows like to watch? Moovies.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.