Country jokes
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
I've Benin there.
I'm Ghana go.
I've got to Togo.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
Who thinks Kenya's dancing is bad and wrong and no?
Hello, America!
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.
One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
What did South Korea say to North Korea? Go read a book!
Gays: I like men.
Straights: I like women.
Russia: Hole is hole.
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.