Country jokes

I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

What's America's best class?

Gun 101.

What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.

Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗

"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.

What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?

America.

What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?

Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔

What is China's favorite restaurant?

The Pet Store.

U.S.A: No Queen?

England: No towers?

Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?

Student: Ukraine is history!

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

We have the best schools for it.

Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.

What are some red flags?

Chinese, Danish, Spanish, Turkish and Albanian.

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"