Country jokes

Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗

What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?

The Hunger Games!

Why did the African 3 year old cry?

He was having a midlife crisis.

Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.

Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.

Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.

What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?

America.

What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?

Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔

What is China's favorite restaurant?

The Pet Store.

U.S.A: No Queen?

England: No towers?

Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?

Student: Ukraine is history!

Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

What is the American virus? Diabetes.

I dislike the UK with a great taste.

China. There. :)