Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house? - in Washington D.C.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!” George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!” Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?
What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!
Where did George go to? Washington DC.
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer; Because IDAHO SUCKS!
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID? Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born
hey gwen... I had a freind named gwen in preschool. The preschool was cascade christian and in washington (wich is close to oragan, I read in a chat that you live there.) This is a long shot but I think you might be the same gwen. if not, ok.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington? John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
So Biden and the zele and Putin on a plane and the plane losses attitude and goes down but there are 2 parachutes and Putin takes the first one and jumps cause he is a greedy twat so he jumps but then Biden says “you go zele I am much older than you and it is so ok for me to die.” So zele takes the second one and jumps but when he did the plane regains attitude and Biden got to Washington DC all fine.they found out the reason was zele’s steels balls
IM GEORGE WASHINGTON I CANT SPELL TETH OR AMEiciari
