Cost

Cost jokes

Boss

Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.

Gas

Gas is expensive nowadays.

In the 1940s, they got it for free.

Cancer

Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.

Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?

Oh, it's still cancer.

Kid

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

Kid

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Business

It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she costs 15 elixir, and 3 inferno towers can't kill her!

Girlfriend

What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.

Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.

He just couldn’t figure out who.

Abortion

Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.

Octopus

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

Life

Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.

Crematorium

What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?

They get a discount at the crematorium.

Woman

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

Son

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

Party

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.