Cost jokes

What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?

Getting the water bill.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.

Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?

1 scent.

I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?

2 pears.

I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?

3 coppers.

I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?

4 Lincolns.

I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?

NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!

Why do poor people eat insects?

Because they're locust!

What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?

How much did the haulla-cost?

How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?

A buccaneer.

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!

What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?

If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

Why did Hitler kill himself?

His gas bill was too high.

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.

The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."

She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."

Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.

How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer!

What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.