Cook jokes
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
Women are only for sex!
They are good for cooking and sex!
Nothing but those things.
Memes
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?
How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave?
I don't know. I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
Please leave a comment.
Bye!
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
Yo mama is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Why did you scream? Oh... Helen Keller tried to cook... 😨