Cook Jokes

How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?

Clucky!

I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.

"Hey I heard you were a bit dow- where's John?" "He died" "oh I'm so sorry but I got you food " (after they eat) "Hey how did John taste seasoned and cooked.?"

I like my humans like I like my chicken................Fully cooked

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Where can white people cook better than Black people? On Father’s Day

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cook book in the women’s sports section

Did you know that the first french fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

I told my brother If he wanted to have a Wonderful first day of school then he should put cook book in the women’s sports section at the school library.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library, when we returned them he said “your sister works the returns right” I told him “yes she does and she will be here in about five minutes”. He said “ why don’t we put a cook book in the women’s sports section” I told him “I love it” so I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

whats the difference between you and Hitler at lest he knows how to use a oven

if WW3 starts i do infact belong in the kitchen

Why do an emos parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut them selves

Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on called a day off?

What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg but you...

was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."

Not a joke but still dc

So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"