Cook jokes

Americans: I will cook the pizza.

Italians: I cooka de pizza!

Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

Nobody

Literally nobody

Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.

Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."

Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.

A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?

"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."

Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?

A shitty plant-based patty.

Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

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Bye!

Why did the chicken nugget cross the road?

To get cooked by KFC.

How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."