Cook jokes

A blind man went to a restaurant.

"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.

The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"

I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.

Why did the chicken nugget cross the road?

To get cooked by KFC.

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?

It was scrambled.

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!

Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.

A: This rice is very delicious!

B: Ya! It is more delicious if it is cooked.

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!

I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

FNF: Beep bop.

Parappa: Cook those burgers and believe!

Why do most orphans cook for themselves?

They don't have a home cook.

Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?

What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.

The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.

Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.

My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"

My bully. 😭