Cook jokes
Your mama's so crazy, she cooks her chicken drumsticks in raspberries and milk.
What's that thing that walks on two legs, washes dishes, sucks my cock, cooks, cleans, bends over for me and never fucking shuts up?
Femoids.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
None, they both eat out.
Michael J. Fox loves to cook, especially desserts. They now call him "Shake and Bake".
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to cook up some FIRE BARS!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!