Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
