Condiment jokes
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
What is the definition of kinky according to a Canadian?
Giving a blowjob to a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise.
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
I bought a horse and named him Mayo.
Sometimes Mayo neighs.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?
Re-tarter sauce.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee.
🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.
No, not like you can ketchup!
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.