Condiment jokes

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

Mustard

🧀: C’mon tomato!

🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

🧀: You’re a mile away.

🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"

What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?

Lettuce ketchup.

To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.

A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.

And together, we are pho-ever.

There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.