Condiment jokes
I bought a horse and named him Mayo.
Sometimes Mayo neighs.
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
Michael J. Fox walks into the grocery store to buy some salt. When he comes out, a kid turns to his mother and says, "Look mom, a salt shaker!"
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.
And together, we are pho-ever.
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
Mustard
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
I have a horse named Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.
No, not like you can ketchup!
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet? They ketchup.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
Lettuce ketchup.
What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?
Re-tarter sauce.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.