Condiment jokes

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

🧀: C’mon tomato!

🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

🧀: You’re a mile away.

🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.

I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.

How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?

Put ranch dressing on it.

The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"

What do bees like with sushi?

Wasabee.

I have a horse named Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.

Mustard

What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?

Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.

Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.

Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.