Ingredient jokes
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Condensed.
Condensed who?
Condensed milk.
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Applesauce.
I fucking love rhubarbs.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.